More time

Weekends need to be longer.

I am tired from absolutely nothing. I ditched my meeting, I ditched church as planned. So what. I don't give a feezy.

Yep... more emptiness. Its all around. It'll never go away.

So since I've completely deleted all men out of my life, I'm even more empty. I don't have anyone to think about now. Although I'm not quite sure if thats a bad or a good thing. It's just... a thing.

I still haven't contacted CA. I told my mom what the deal was and she cracked up. She said, "wait a minute [my nickname]... this nigga thinks he got you pregnant, and he sent an EMAIL? He can't call you and to make sure you're not pregnant? What if you never checked that email address again?"

Exactly, ma.

So then she starts crackin up. She said, "well [mn], you couldn'ta planned a better revenge. Do you realize that he's sitting there squirming? He's sweating bullets. Mess with my daughter... hell yeah. You let that eat at him. Don't respond to him. He did you wrong and he knows it. May he continue to feel this pain until you feel the mercy in your heart to release him."

I love it when my momma speaks vengeance.

Thing is he did it to himself. So I don't care. And if he gets dumb enough to show up over here, I'm gonna say, "my lawyer will be contacting you. get the fuck off my daddy's property." And I'mma go back in the house.

Now once upon a time that sort of vengeance woulda just made me bust with glee. I mean, I get to mentally torture this piece of shuckey for as long as I feel like it? All by ignoring him? And allowing him to think the worst? Heffas kill for this, especially since I didn't put this shit in his mind. This is all his retarded ass concotion... he's freaked himself out.

And still, I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. I felt like cracking up for a while because of how my momma reacted, but for myself... nothing.

I'm so blank.

I guess its because I've seen it all so many times. These niggas fuck me over, and they suffer. Its a damn circle. It always happens. I even try to warn they punk asses that I'm not the bitch to fuck over. No one believes me. *sigh* Well now you're fucked for as long as I want to draw this shit out. It probably wont be too long because I get bored easily now. He aint even worth the effort of ignoring him. Blah. Well UC is talking to me, and blogger's fucked up ass wont work while I'm on AIM, so I'm ghost.