Ain't no sunshine

I miss his skin.

I thought about it all night, even though I tried not to. I remember how his tattoos looked, how he'd stand behind me and hug me. I'd always look at the tattoos on his forearms. That shit was so sexy.

He'd say he was taking a picture of me. He said his senses could remember how I felt and it would make a picture in his mind. He'd close his eyes, and hold me to him for a long time. Taking these deep breaths. I remember how his chest would feel. How my breasts felt all smashed against him. I'd feel his heart beating, and it was always beating fast. I remember how rough his hands were, but they would touch me so softly. He didn't neglect anything about me. He had to touch every part before I could leave. Even if that meant he was gonna be late for work, which he was a few times. I always felt super safe with him. All ghetto looking and sexy. I remember how I'd get chills from him breathing on my neck, how he'd pick me up and put my legs around his waist. Put me against the wall and stare in my eyes until I couldn't look at him anymore. I never felt inadequate in his eyes. I was beautiful to him. And he was even more beautiful to me. The lines of his muscles, that perfect ass that I could rest my legs on, those eyes. Those fuckin eyes did me in every time. They still do me in. The strength of his body was unbelievable. He wasn't a big nigga, he was slim. But he was so damn strong. He used to lift weights all ghetto in the backyard. I'd watch him, sitting on a paint bucket, waiting for him to finish his set so I could straddle him. I liked interrupting his workout like that. He never minded either. He'd sit up all sweaty and be like, "now what 'chu want?" He'd be smiling all hard at me. I could be as nasty as I wanted with him. I never felt the need to hold back. He brought out the worst in me when it came to that. I said shit I've never said, done things I never wanted to do with anyone else. I felt like such a woman with him. I could be his slut and I knew he wouldn't tell. I was still the queen in his eyes, no matter what I did when the clothes came off.

GOD I miss that man.

I can't sit here and deny the fact that I want him back. Because I do. I'm such an ass... I need to give up all these principles, morals, expectations, and shit. Because he's what I want.

See, that could just be for right now though. I could take him back and then be mad at his ass all over again. I don't know though. I want him back. I might just have to bite the bullet and take the bullshit. Because I say it all the time, ain't no man gonna make me feel like he did. And besides.

I love him.