Nope...

still nothing.

I bought it, and I felt so strange. I hate buying shit like that... cashiers always look so judgemental when you purchase certain items. The only thing I don't mind buying is pads and cramp medicine. Mu'fuckas clear a path for me when I'm packing a basket fulla Always ultra thins, motrin, wheat thins, and licorice. Once I bought a utility knife with all that shit... DAMN that was hilarious. This dude was actually letting people cut so he wouldn't have to stand behind me.

Ahh the silly shit is what keeps me going.

So yeah, I bought the Stick of Destiny. Tomorrow it will dictate my future. Or something like that. Either I don't have a situation to fix, or I do. But ultimately the outcome will be the same... I ain't having a baby right now, and definitely not by this sorry mu'fucka.

Part of me, that irrational part, kinda wants to be pregnant. I've wanted to be a mother for so long. I think of how I'd have been cool being knocked up by various other ex'es. Like the tall MF from Frisco. I'd have had his baby in a minute. Another psycho that I was in love with. The brown eyed ex I'm currently contending with. I'd have had his baby too, without blinking an eye. Even without all the whole marriage dream and all that. If either of those men had've fathered my child, termination wouldn't have even crossed my mind.

But CA? Hell naw. It shall NOT go down, under any circumstances. Irrational M. be damned. That shit is a nightmare waiting to happen.

So UC shall be in the vicinity relatively soon.

My unbeloved occupation has made sure that I shall not be seeing him at all this time. I have to be at work at 6:30 tomorrow morning, and I'll probably be leaving late as always. Monday is definitely a no go. I wouldn't even feel like seeing anything other than a bed on Monday. So I won't be meeting him until July, looks like. Which is all gravy. No need to rock the boat none. So far I'm over him and I kinda would like to keep it that way. There is a certain peace and sanity in not crushing on someone. That type of peace is only realized upon being released from a crush. I love my peace and the lack of uncertainty.

Damn I just realized how fuckin GREAT I smell.

But back to what I was saying. So I don't mind if I don't see UC. It all works out for the best. If by some chance we run into each other then God said it was okay. If not, then that means I'm weak and it's best to keep my distance. Besides, no need to complicate shit further. I don't think he's been back by here, but if he has then he probably thinks I'm a lot crazier than he thought with all this pregnancy talk and shit. Boy I just continue to fuck myself over, don't I? Oh well, can't do shit about it now. It wasn't my fault I was trying to have a real relationship with a undercover bitch ass nigga and the damn condom broke. That shit ain't my fuckin fault at all.

No Sir.

Well lemme go eat or something. I'm out for now.