I'm gonna hold you down.

I used this same title for the post in the main. Sometimes its fun having two blogs.

I wish I could be mad at CA.

I just can't. I mean, I'm trying. I don't want to seem like I love drama, because I don't. It just bothers me that I could cut him off like that. I'm forever cutting niggas off, but never has it been done with so much precision, conviction, and severity. I mean, if I were to see him on the street it would be like I never knew him. I feel nothing.

Maybe it's because it's about to get hot, and I'm about to get cute.

I'm sure thats what it is, the old "more fish in the sea" thing. Fucked up thing is I gotta get my weight back up. When I was fuckin with him I really wasn't eating as much because I was too busy running around (and his ass hardly ever had food at his place). So now I gotta get the vitamins and 2 ensures a day so I can get my legs back right. They aren't bad now, but they looked better before I wasted a month of my life on his ass. I anticipate by the end of the month I'll be past the level of fine previously reached. It's all good.

I'm not even sad I ain't got a man.

I swear, I'm freaking myself out. Maybe I'm bi-polar, because on a good day this shit would have me depressed. I'm the farthest thing from depressed. It is TOO strange. In any case, I welcome the happiness, even if it is Happiness Lite (hello old friend).

Things will be changing really soon. My sister got called for a 2nd interview for a much better paying job, so we're planning to buy a townhouse. My brother is also moving out soon, so we're gonna move like down the block from him. It looks like we'll be living in the LBC, but I'm not gonna speculate too much in case it doesn't go down. But I'm feeling kinda optimistic about that because after the shit thats been happening at my house, I can see where it's time to get the fuck on.

I will admit, I have been thinking about the ex. But that's normal considering the fact that he's got the best dick in the world. I'm not gonna feed into it, I'll just dismiss it. Because if there's one thing I'm NOT gonna do, it's take his ass back.

Well lemme get my overly happy ass to work for real this time. Blah.