I miss him.

I hate working super late.

Whenever I have to work super late I can never see CA. I miss seeing him, even though I just saw him on Tuesday. I'm supposed to see him today, but I'm scared I'm gonna be working hella late again, forcing me to renig on seeing him.

I still wonder what my surprise was.

I will ask him today, I suppose. I'm going to try and get him to come to the step show with me. I really want him to go so we can spend time together. He's gonna have to figure out exactly how I'm supposed to fit into his life with all his paper grading, coaching, practice, etc. I don't mind standing on the sidelines sometimes, but I'm afraid I might be relegated to the sidelines more often than not.

I understand that he made himself busy because he was alone. That's all fine and dandy, but I'm here now. I'm going to be patient with him and work this out, because I really am crazy about him. Even when he's all mad and psycho like on Tuesday, I'm still crazy about him. So I figure we go to the step show and I treat him to dinner afterwards, and we can talk then. Because I want him to be sure that he can do this. I'm known for giving all I have to hopeless situations, but I'm kinda sick of taking that route. Since his schedule is threatening to be more demanding than mine, he's going to have the task of putting me in there somehow. I have no problem squishing him in, I'm never that busy. But come May, he is going to be very busy. I don't want to be completely alone the whole summer, so I'd better broach this topic super quick. Let him know where I'm coming from out the gates before things get complicated. That way if there's gonna be problems we can solve them before they arise.

At least thats what I'm hoping for.

I'm not planning on going anywhere, but I don't want to be unhappy for the sake of having a "man". Been there done that. I want to be happy all the way. So we have to communicate to make sure this is working for both of us, not just him and not just me.

Damn. I realized that he's got me thinking long term like him. The only thing that's shady is the settling down part. I'm still scared he's gonna try to move me to the midwest. And if we're married, then I have to go. I can't protest and leave my man over that. But I will be so unhappy if he decides that we have to move out there. Shit, it's rural areas out here. I need to find them and show them to his ass so he wont think the only place he can live is cold ass Bumblefuck Minnesota, or wherever the hell it is he's from. I think it's Minnesota. Or was it Wisconsin? Shit. I won't commit it to memory because I don't want to end up there.

Oh well. Lemme work. I'm gonna call him on his lunch break.