And I'm still not working.
As always... fuck it.
Dude, I feel hella alone right now. I'm mad at my sorors. I'm mad at CA. I'm mad at the auditors. I'm mad at myself for being mad at my granny. I'm mad at everyfuckinthing and I have no one to talk to about it.
No one in my fam really likes my sorors. They didn't want me to join in the first place, so I can't complain to them. My Big Sis ain't at work today so I can't call her.
Everyone thinks CA is so great. If I tell them how mad I am, and why, they're gonna make me feel like it's all me. But this time, it isn't all me. He's on some bullshit. No one is gonna see it like that though. so I can't call anyone and discuss it. I can't tell Big Sis because a) she ain't at work, and b) she's in the "CA is so wonderful" boat. So she ain't gonna feel what I'm saying.
It ain't my granny's fault she has to take over my room. I mean, where else can she go? But when I think about going home and not being able to relax with my Coltrane I want to snap. I had a set routine that let me relax and unwind... allowed me to leave all the bullshit of the day in the parking lot of this job. I looked forward to going home. Now? Hell naw. I don't look forward to it at all. The limited space I had is now gone. I can't do anything I used to do. And I'm pissed. I'm pissed because my space is gone, I'm pissed because it ain't her fault so I shouldn't be mad at her, but then I am, so that makes me a bad granddaughter.
I hate when people challenge my opinion. No one cares what everyone else thinks. They go there to see what I think. And if you disagree then fuck you, go away. Go get yourself a blog and write about how wrong and scanless I am. But don't come in my spot forcing me to debate what was clearly based on my opinion any damn way. Fuck outta here.
Today isn't a good day. I think my anger with CA just blew the shit over the top. If I could rely on the happiness he used to give me, it could balance out the wrath I'm feeling right now. But nope, no happiness. Only wrath. And that shit ain't great at all.
I'm fuckin miserable. Lemme go do something else.
Dude, I feel hella alone right now. I'm mad at my sorors. I'm mad at CA. I'm mad at the auditors. I'm mad at myself for being mad at my granny. I'm mad at everyfuckinthing and I have no one to talk to about it.
No one in my fam really likes my sorors. They didn't want me to join in the first place, so I can't complain to them. My Big Sis ain't at work today so I can't call her.
Everyone thinks CA is so great. If I tell them how mad I am, and why, they're gonna make me feel like it's all me. But this time, it isn't all me. He's on some bullshit. No one is gonna see it like that though. so I can't call anyone and discuss it. I can't tell Big Sis because a) she ain't at work, and b) she's in the "CA is so wonderful" boat. So she ain't gonna feel what I'm saying.
It ain't my granny's fault she has to take over my room. I mean, where else can she go? But when I think about going home and not being able to relax with my Coltrane I want to snap. I had a set routine that let me relax and unwind... allowed me to leave all the bullshit of the day in the parking lot of this job. I looked forward to going home. Now? Hell naw. I don't look forward to it at all. The limited space I had is now gone. I can't do anything I used to do. And I'm pissed. I'm pissed because my space is gone, I'm pissed because it ain't her fault so I shouldn't be mad at her, but then I am, so that makes me a bad granddaughter.
I hate when people challenge my opinion. No one cares what everyone else thinks. They go there to see what I think. And if you disagree then fuck you, go away. Go get yourself a blog and write about how wrong and scanless I am. But don't come in my spot forcing me to debate what was clearly based on my opinion any damn way. Fuck outta here.
Today isn't a good day. I think my anger with CA just blew the shit over the top. If I could rely on the happiness he used to give me, it could balance out the wrath I'm feeling right now. But nope, no happiness. Only wrath. And that shit ain't great at all.
I'm fuckin miserable. Lemme go do something else.
posted by ~~~. at 3/24/2005 10:50:00 AM
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