All better.
Already. Now that is amazing.
Its sad, sex ain't supposed to be everything. But dammit, when I think that I coulda been stuck with someone who stands a 50/50 chance of disappointing me in bed, I feel very liberated that I got out when I did. I mean, sometimes he'd put it on me, and sometimes he'd fall drastically short. The shit was no isolated occurance.
I can take a lot. But lame sex? No. Can't take it. I'd rather be alone with my battery mafia.
So I guess I'm back to the battery luv. I had contemplating getting some "replacement ass", but I know better. I don't want to do that. I still deserve the meaningful relationship, so I ain't gonna sell myself short on some right-now dick. Besides. My imposters NEVER fail me. As in 100% success rate. So I'm just gonna stick with what works.
I don't believe how easily I'm dealing with this. My ex STILL gives me chills, and sometimes I still miss and want him. But this nigga? CA? Naw. I'm super cool on him. I'm scaring myself. Because this is just how I started out back in 98 when I went crazy and just had my fuck partner union on speed dial. This indifference and apathy frightens me. I almost wish I felt sad, or mad or something. But I don't. I'm like, "Next!"
I forgot to write that I'd given UC the link to the blog officially. So he knows who he is and all that. Not like I care, that's done with. I was kinda scared when I realized I was leaving CA because I didn't want to fall into that trap again, but it really is all good. If there is one thing fuckin with CA taught me, it's "don't ignore the differences". CA and I had differences that were major. I had issues with a lot of shit about him from jump, and I ignored it. I'll never ignore differences again. If the differences are major enough for me to speak on, I have to heed that. Or else I'mma end up wasting my time or hurt. So I'm pleased to report there is no Re-crush in sight for the Un-Crush.
I'm serious though, I'm freaking myself out. I feel a little too good to have just broken up with someone.
Oh well, lemme go work. C'est La Vie.
Its sad, sex ain't supposed to be everything. But dammit, when I think that I coulda been stuck with someone who stands a 50/50 chance of disappointing me in bed, I feel very liberated that I got out when I did. I mean, sometimes he'd put it on me, and sometimes he'd fall drastically short. The shit was no isolated occurance.
I can take a lot. But lame sex? No. Can't take it. I'd rather be alone with my battery mafia.
So I guess I'm back to the battery luv. I had contemplating getting some "replacement ass", but I know better. I don't want to do that. I still deserve the meaningful relationship, so I ain't gonna sell myself short on some right-now dick. Besides. My imposters NEVER fail me. As in 100% success rate. So I'm just gonna stick with what works.
I don't believe how easily I'm dealing with this. My ex STILL gives me chills, and sometimes I still miss and want him. But this nigga? CA? Naw. I'm super cool on him. I'm scaring myself. Because this is just how I started out back in 98 when I went crazy and just had my fuck partner union on speed dial. This indifference and apathy frightens me. I almost wish I felt sad, or mad or something. But I don't. I'm like, "Next!"
I forgot to write that I'd given UC the link to the blog officially. So he knows who he is and all that. Not like I care, that's done with. I was kinda scared when I realized I was leaving CA because I didn't want to fall into that trap again, but it really is all good. If there is one thing fuckin with CA taught me, it's "don't ignore the differences". CA and I had differences that were major. I had issues with a lot of shit about him from jump, and I ignored it. I'll never ignore differences again. If the differences are major enough for me to speak on, I have to heed that. Or else I'mma end up wasting my time or hurt. So I'm pleased to report there is no Re-crush in sight for the Un-Crush.
I'm serious though, I'm freaking myself out. I feel a little too good to have just broken up with someone.
Oh well, lemme go work. C'est La Vie.
posted by ~~~. at 3/28/2005 08:49:00 AM
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