Whoa...

I think CA's trying to move me in.

He's got me decorating the place. I have a toothbrush, comb, brush, headrag, and a set of rollers over there now... all courtesy of him. He bought my bath and body works stuff last night and told me its "my shower section". When the fuck did I get a shower section???

He called me last night and asked me if he had to wait until the weekend to see me. I was kinda shocked, so I said, "No, I'll see you on Wednesday", my dumb ass thinking yesterday was Monday. But it wasn't. It was Tuesday. So now I'm going over there tonight.

I don't think I have to worry about smothering this dude... I think it might be the other way around. I haven't even fucked him yet... I don't understand what's going on here. I'm kinda feeling like he's tricking me, but I can't be sure. Maybe he really does dig me that much. But I'm not used to that.

See, I'm trying not to fuck dude. And the more I go over there, the more likely I am to end up naked straddling him on that couch. He's gonna kiss me, and pull my hair, and I'm gonna lose it. I already know. And I don't want to go there just yet, but shit. I have a hard time denying myself dick. The only thing that saved me previously was the fact that I'd call on my friends before seeing him. Spending the night over there was difficult as fuck because I didn't have my arsenal of dick imposters. I was clinging to my side of the bed at one point because I was two steps from jumping on his ass. I don't know if I can handle this.

But he wants to see me every day, and he wants me to stay.

If I stay, I fuck. Bottom line.

I sound like a nigga. That is so BAD and WRONG. I don't know when I got all fucked up like this, but it's making my life suck. I'mma end up on him. Then he's gonna be all in love with me because I fuck so beautifully. What can I say, I'm the shit.

But I don't want this to be about me and my Ultimate Pussy Skill. Right now, he just likes me a lot. If I do him, it's gonna jump to a whole other level. I know it will. I've seen it happen to me a gajillion times. Niggas don't be ready for this here. Then they get all paranoid and jealous... super crazy. Then I have to leave them alone. I don't want this to happen here... I'm tired of the stalkalistics and their bullshit.

I'm super stressed out.

I like him, I wanna be with him. But I know myself. I'mma fuck him.

And then this will be fucked up.

Shit. Sucks to be me. Lemme go help this dude with his Jury summons. Blah.