Thighs of steel.

DAMN.

I've never had to fight so hard before. Because I really didn't put up a fight against the ex, seeing as how he just started off my fuck buddy in the first place. But this? Damn. Warfare. Lethal Warrior... just like BONE Thugs. I'm a fuckin lethal warrior.

I can't be faded.

CA is too sexy for me not to fuck, but I managed somehow. I kept these long ass legs of mine clamped tight like a trap all night. When it became obvious I was about to fail, I bailed. I left his apartment around 11:30 knowing my black ass had to work today. And knowing he wanted me to stay. But like I said yesterday, if I stay, I fuck. So I had to leave.

That was harder last night than it was over the weekend.

Man, I don't know what I'm gonna do! He is the biggest boyfriend I've had to date, and he is all sexy and fine with his pretty skin and muscles. And his eyes do me in. He has this look on his face when he's calm. Good lawd. He's just a beautiful man all around. And he's so sweet. He knows I'm trying to hold it down so he doesn't make me feel bad for going home. He has no problems letting me know he'd rather me stay there, but when I opt to leave he smiles and kisses me on my forehead.

I guess it's too late to whine about how fast shit is moving. I couldn't slow this nigga down if I tried. And I did. But last weekend was kinda the switch point. Makes no sense to contemplate on the rapid progression of this once you've spent the night with someone already... whether you fuck them or not. So now I have to try and just go with this and see where I end up. That scares me a little, but there is nothing I can do aside from leave him alone altogether, and I don't want to do that because I like him too much. So I guess I'll just deal with this and take it how it comes... one day at a time.

DAMN I wanted his ass last night, though.

Oh well, lemme go work. I'm out.