Sheer fuckin irony.

Today I bit the bullet. I went ahead and showed UC what I looked like. I couldn't protest because I had offered the opportunity on the main for the benefit of a couple of homies-in-blog. So yeah. He saw me.

He told me I was cute.

In case you missed it... that means "not-ugly".

I'm not sure how much truth is in that statement, I couldn't see his face when he "said" that or when he saw my picture, so I really don't know what was going through his mind when he saw me. But he said I was cute.

I can deal with that.

About an hour and a half later, C-AIM called me. I'd just gotten offline for the sole reason of calling him. But he beat me to it. He proceeded to tell me he could see himself married to me. He said I'm the woman he's been looking for since he's been out here.

Amazing. How do I just receive the validation I needed from UC on the same night I learn that I'm the woman of another man's dream? Only me.

Its time to shit or get off the pot.

I guess I'd better cut UC loose from my heart quick... like tomorrow or something. Because I think this dude is gonna try and marry me next year. I'm scared. I always said I wanted a man who would lock it down, but this nigga ain't playing in the slightest bit. He's moving at the speed of light. And if I'mma do this, I gotta do it all the way. The crush has GOT to go. It ain't fair to C-AIM. I'm pretty sure by the end of next week he will have made me his woman. But I have a problem. I just don't know how to let go. My emotions are fucked up like that. I wanted UC to endear himself to me so badly, even though I knew there wasn't a chance in hell it could go down. And it seems that every day he says something cute to keep me dragging along like an idiot. But he ain't doing it on purpose... I'm doing the shit to myself.

All I know is I'd better figure out something quick. I'm sleepy. I'm going to bed.