New occupation?

I would never have the heart to be a porno star.

It's been suggested to me. The job is been offered to me. I considered taking it too. But I know I could never manage that.

I think of the fact that I think I'm less than cute, but some of these men find me attractive anyway. I mean, I've got DSL's. I could market these mo'fo's and get outta all this damn college debt.

Then there's the fact that I really, really love to fuck. Like with all that is within me. If I could, I'd retire from my career and just have sex every day for the rest of my life except when I have cramps. Some people might get tired of fuckin all the time. But I don't. Just ask the Late Great Honey Bear (R.I.P. homie, pour out a little liquor).

The new toy isn't as magnificent as its predecessor. As a matter of fact, it's borderline lame. I guess a toy that can't actually fuck me back just ain't worth my time. In that respect, Honey reigned supreme. I'm thinking I'll just buy a new Honey Bear. Obviously that was the only toy I needed. I'm selling myself short with the bullshit. So I'mma come correct and solve my problem the best way I know how.

I'm feeling like I'm almost completely done with the infamous Un-Crush. He's just feeling like a friend right now. But as always, thats right now. In a way I wish he'd rescue me from this shitty man hell I'm in. Rescue me from the baby daddies, the broke stalkers, the old ass perverts, the work stalkers, the ex-boyfriends, all of it. I wish he'd move here, and decide that I'm the most gorgeous muthafucka in the world, and he simply must have me in his life or else it will not be complete. Then he can save me from my sexual prison and do me into oblivion. I mean, there is no greater life for me to get dicked down religiously on a daily basis, maybe 3 times a day by someone as super fly and great as this damn unavailable ass man.

Fuck.

But he wont save me, I cant fuck him, and I'm stuck with all the shittys indicated above. BOOO. But at least my ass jiggles, right?

Damn right.