My Hun'ned Thangs

Everyone is doing the hundred things about me. Might as well do it too, it's a good diversion from the shit that is on my nerves. Here we go!


1. I don’t trust folks easy.
2. the ones I trust, I trust completely.
3. there are two people on this earth that I want to see dead.
4. other than that, I’m pretty good at forgiving.
5. I’m spoiled as hell.
6. I hate being told what to do.
7. but I still want someone to take care of me.
8. I wanted 5 kids long time ago.
9. I’ll settle for 3 now.
10. I love sex more than food.
11. but food has less consequences, so I chose to eat.
12. I’m scared to get too far away from my family.
13. I would kill for them.
14. I love my old Hyundai as much as my Mustang.
15. I never really wanted to be rich.
16. I just wanted to be a housewife.
17. I still plan to buy a mini-cooper.
18. In addition to my Yukon XL.
19. But I never learned how to parallel park properly.
20. my brother will park my car for me on the street.
21. I refused to wear dresses for about 6 years.
22. I only wore nikes and jeans.
23. I got my hair done at the salon for the first time in 2002.
24. I am under observation for cancer since I’m genetically predisposed.
25. That was the scariest realization of my life to date.
26. each year I’m scared shitless when I go to the doctor for this.
27. My near death experiences made me much more cautious.
28. I’m not frivolous.
29. I can be stingy as hell.
30. but in the same breath I’ll give my last dollar to someone.
31. That’s probably why I stay broke.
32. I’ve had more boyfriends than I can remember.
33. I’ve repressed some of the worst ones.
34. and when I’m reminded of them I honestly have no idea who they are.
35. I’ve been followed home, to work, to school, to the mall, and other places by ex-boyfriends.
36. I made cussing into an art form in 3rd grade.
37. I cant stop cussing for more than 2 days.
38. My mom didn’t know I cussed until I was in high school.
39. I felt super bad about that.
40. I have used sex to control people before.
41. unfortunately they’re still after me.
42. That taught me to quit messing with folks’ head.
43. My dad still thinks I’m a virgin.
44. I haven’t been a virgin for about 8 years.
45. But I was celibate for a whole year once.
46. Only once though… now I can’t make it more than 6 to 9 months.
47. If it weren’t for my boyfriends, I’d probably be super bored.
48. I want to be a chef.
49. I still listen to BONE Thugs-N-Harmony.
50. I’m semi addicted to Crunk Juice now.
51. My favorite position is no longer from the back.
52. Although I love getting my ass smacked though.
53. I used to like getting my hair pulled but one of my ex-es got too carried away.
54. I’ve had bruises on my ass from getting smacked.
55. That wasn’t too sexy, but it sure felt good.
56. I’ve been videotaped before.
57. I hope to GOD that tape never surfaces.
58. If it does I’ll deny everything.
59. I actually like giving head sometimes.
60. I’m good at it too.
61. I’m too much of a punk to be a stripper.
62. I’ve got small titties, but they dont stop me from getting dick.
63. Being a Christian is REALLY hard for me.
64. Mainly because I’m addicted to orgasms.
65. I gotta get mine at least twice a day unless I’m on my period.
66. I own 5 vibe’s, and I’m still adding to the collection.
67. My favorite will always be the Honey Bear.
68. I have no problems getting my freak on at work.
69. I left my last job partially because of a man I was messing with there.
70. I collect Sesame Street Characters.
71. Ernie is my favorite.
72. I have Oscar the Grouch panties on right now, though.
73. I don’t work very hard here.
74. I’ve never smoked weed before.
75. I don’t like being drunk because I can never remember what I did while drunk.
76. I’ve never worn a weave.
77. I’ve never had fake nails either.
78. I refuse to let people touch my feet, I’ll do my own pedicure.
79. I still have buckshots in my hands, so it’s kinda hard to do sometimes.
80. My X-rays are creepy as hell w/ all them damn bullet fragments.
81. I’m scared of the cold.
82. I will ditch work if it’s too cold.
83. I’m scared to die because I don’t want my family to be heartbroken.
84. Aint nothing worse to me than hearing my mommy cry.
85. I hate people who puke by me.
86. I’ll probably kick the shit outta you if you puke near me.
87. A lot of times life ain’t fair to me.
88. I’m an emotional woman.
89. Hugs are so great to me. If you hug me, I’ll be more willing to fuck you later J
90. I wear a size 7 nike.
91. I wear glasses, but only at work.
92. I hate shopping for bras.
93. Sometimes I wont even wear one because I hate them so much.
94. I’d rather wear stockings than bras.
95. I own a garter belt I’ve never worn.
96. I’m insecure about a lot of stuff.
97. I want people to know me but I’m scared to let them.
98. Sometimes I’m tired of hiding who I am.
99. But I’ve found that it’s usually safer that way.
100. I talk more in this blog than to people who really know me.


Damn that was a lot of typing! Back to work.