It is SO okay.
Oh my God... I'm way too okay right now.
So we went to the Cheesecake Factory. The ride there was lovely, he actually talked. But lemme back up. Cuzz brought me GIANT ass roses! And he is super fine up close. He is such a gentleman. The kind and gentle nature he has was so attractive. He talks very well in person. I can see myself kickin it with him a lot more. I'm actually excited when I think about it.
He has very expressive eyes. I had problems looking at him because he's a starin ass negro. That's my only beef. I have issues with people staring at me. He stared at me the whole damn night. And did I mention how sexy his damn body is? I didn't think so.
It is mad obvious that he works out. I wanted to touch his chest all night. He was lookin hella good in that shirt and his leather coat. I did good though, I didn't touch him. He is definitely huggable... that's for damn sure. He's mixed, I didn't realize that until I took a good look at his hair. He's got such nice pretty hair. He keeps it cut short, and his goatee is ultra sexy too. I'm just glad the mu'fucka talked. I mean, he was choppin it up with me. I was so happy, because that was my numero uno concern. I didn't want to be bored to death. But I was nowhere near bored to death. He is an absolute sweetie. I'm happy for my damn self. He's a fuckin doll, and I've got my hooks in his ass. He ain't goin nowhere.
What's super funny is he felt like he had to move quick on this. He wasn't feeling 100%, but he came to get me anyway. I told him he didn't have to because I don't like to be responsible for folks getting sick. But he was determined to go out with me because he didn't want anyone else to snatch up my heart. I gotta love a man thats serious about locking shit down. He ain't gotta worry. I'm happy with him. If he wanna keep it, I won't be a hard bitch about it. He's got it in him to hold it down for me. And I'mma let his ass do just that. I did think of UC while I was out, but he didn't cause that barrier that he's so notorious for. It seems the immunity that I needed from UC is almost complete. Part of me really doesn't want to let the thought of him go. But kickin it with C-AIM showed me that the needs I have aren't crazy, and there are men that can take me as I am, and I don't have to feel weird. Not once did I feel inadequate to this guy. Not one time in the entire date. I'm certain that if I spend a day with UC, at some point during that day I'm gonna feel insecure, inadequate, or unworthy. That shit ain't conducive to how I need to live. I need my self-esteem... I ain't got any to spare. But UC is still super great. He's all charismatic and shit. I still wish just a little bit that he coulda been closer, or liked me more than he does. I'd honestly have been with him in a hot ass minute. I wouldn't have thought twice. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately in this case) it didn't work out how I wanted it. Maybe this is best though. Given how unpredictable my attitude can be, perhaps I need someone who wont test me, who doesn't like confrontations, who will ultimately let me do any and everything I want to do. I don't know, I don't have the master plan in my mind. Things happen how they will, all I can do it let it. Well let me call him now and see how he's feeling.
So we went to the Cheesecake Factory. The ride there was lovely, he actually talked. But lemme back up. Cuzz brought me GIANT ass roses! And he is super fine up close. He is such a gentleman. The kind and gentle nature he has was so attractive. He talks very well in person. I can see myself kickin it with him a lot more. I'm actually excited when I think about it.
He has very expressive eyes. I had problems looking at him because he's a starin ass negro. That's my only beef. I have issues with people staring at me. He stared at me the whole damn night. And did I mention how sexy his damn body is? I didn't think so.
It is mad obvious that he works out. I wanted to touch his chest all night. He was lookin hella good in that shirt and his leather coat. I did good though, I didn't touch him. He is definitely huggable... that's for damn sure. He's mixed, I didn't realize that until I took a good look at his hair. He's got such nice pretty hair. He keeps it cut short, and his goatee is ultra sexy too. I'm just glad the mu'fucka talked. I mean, he was choppin it up with me. I was so happy, because that was my numero uno concern. I didn't want to be bored to death. But I was nowhere near bored to death. He is an absolute sweetie. I'm happy for my damn self. He's a fuckin doll, and I've got my hooks in his ass. He ain't goin nowhere.
What's super funny is he felt like he had to move quick on this. He wasn't feeling 100%, but he came to get me anyway. I told him he didn't have to because I don't like to be responsible for folks getting sick. But he was determined to go out with me because he didn't want anyone else to snatch up my heart. I gotta love a man thats serious about locking shit down. He ain't gotta worry. I'm happy with him. If he wanna keep it, I won't be a hard bitch about it. He's got it in him to hold it down for me. And I'mma let his ass do just that. I did think of UC while I was out, but he didn't cause that barrier that he's so notorious for. It seems the immunity that I needed from UC is almost complete. Part of me really doesn't want to let the thought of him go. But kickin it with C-AIM showed me that the needs I have aren't crazy, and there are men that can take me as I am, and I don't have to feel weird. Not once did I feel inadequate to this guy. Not one time in the entire date. I'm certain that if I spend a day with UC, at some point during that day I'm gonna feel insecure, inadequate, or unworthy. That shit ain't conducive to how I need to live. I need my self-esteem... I ain't got any to spare. But UC is still super great. He's all charismatic and shit. I still wish just a little bit that he coulda been closer, or liked me more than he does. I'd honestly have been with him in a hot ass minute. I wouldn't have thought twice. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately in this case) it didn't work out how I wanted it. Maybe this is best though. Given how unpredictable my attitude can be, perhaps I need someone who wont test me, who doesn't like confrontations, who will ultimately let me do any and everything I want to do. I don't know, I don't have the master plan in my mind. Things happen how they will, all I can do it let it. Well let me call him now and see how he's feeling.
posted by ~~~. at 2/13/2005 07:02:00 PM
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