Back at home.

Well I just got off the phone with C-AIM.

He is such a compassionate and wonderful man, I wished I could have visited him tonight. But he was sick, so he told me to stay home and he'd see me soon so I wouldn't catch his germs. He's got a fever so he's definitely contagious. Funny how I didn't give a shit... as paranoid as I am about getting sick and losing weight as a result. He's a sweetheart, for real. He called me to tell me happy valentines day right when I needed to hear his voice. Some bullshit popped off in the family. My uncle is the sorriest summ'bitch I've ever met in my life. I don't know how that white chick put up with him as long as she did. She's a ridah, thats for damn sure. Because I'd have kicked that nigga's ass long time ago. More times than not, I find myself hating him. I wish he'd just move the fuck away.

Anyway.

So yeah, he called me but I was parallel parking (which takes all my damn effort and concentration) and I didn't answer in time. He left me a voicemail and it just made me warm inside. I ran in the house and called him back. I just want to hug him all the time. He's one of those strong man-of-my-word kinda nigga. He makes promises and I know he's gonna keep them. I'm so blessed... I guess maybe in all my insanity God feels that I'm doing something right. He's blessed me with this man, who is close enough to me so I can see him in a minutes notice. A man who thinks I'm absolutely beautiful. With the most amazing smile, body, and all that goes along with it. I don't deserve it. But I'll definitely take it. Like I told UC last night, I just want to be happy again.

And for once, I think I can be.

I'm even considering retiring my dick imposters permanently. I'm very spoiled now... I can get it whenever I want, and bonafide orgasms are a certainty. However, I know real sex ain't like this. Real dick doesn't come with nifty clit ticklers. So I need to unspoil myself and get used to not getting any. That way when the time finally comes, I'll be so damn worked up it'll feel good regardless. Thats the plan, but I'm damn sure it ain't gonna happen overnight. I just love my little friends, they've been so good to me. I hate to have to sequester them under the bed, but I've gotta get myself back to the point I was before I bought them. I have a feeling C-AIM might just be permanent. Shit, I've been wrong before, but this time might work out. And he deserves to have all of me, and not have to share me with the battery mafia underneath my bed.

I ain't throwin them away though until I'm married. Fuck the dumb.

Well lemme get ready to call it a night. I'm gonna need rest, tomorrow is gonna be a long day. Blah. Well at least I've got my thoughts of him to keep me happy through it. Life is good.