SO much resolve.

Whoa. After all this time of being in full denial, I must admit that Strawberry Quik just ain't the business. I really need some Maalox or something quick. I feel like I'mma die or something.

Today is one of the days where being alone isn't so bad. It's funny, one morning I'll just wake up all convinced that I can do this, and I'll be okay for the whole day. I have to convince myself of my worth. When I'm able to do that, I can look this single lifestyle in the face and demand that it kisses my ass. I love it when I'm all strong and defiant. If only I could be this way every day.

I haven't talked to UC in 2 days. Just the typical "need to distance myself" silence. He's got enough folks keeping him company, I'm sure he hasn't noticed I've been gone. I'll probably go on AIM tomorrow just to say hi and make sure he ate dinner. I still worry about his wellbeing, but not to the point of where I'm all obsessing over it. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself. I can't do anything for him way on the opposite side of the country. I'll see him when I see him.

The ex is the only thing still giving me issues. And surprisingly enough, those issues are minor. Mainly I'm super cemented in my quest to not lower my standards any more. I am very much focused on finding someone who will treat me the same way I'm treating him. And who can fuck... but that's a whole different story. I ain't going there right now. I'm almost immune to his eyes. They were so beautiful. But so what. I deserve better. Bottom line.

Man. Even though I was worked to death, today was fairly decent. I hope and pray that I'm this content tomorrow. I could use a break from my typical insanity. Well time for the NyQuil. I'm out.