So I'm supposed to be doing something
But I'm not sure what.
At least I don't want to cry anymore. I give myself until 12:00 pm for that shit to come right back though.
Last night was uneventful as shit. I'm dreading this weekend, and as a matter of fact, all the weekends in January. As it stands, I've got 3 Founders Day celebrations to attend and a couple of conferences. I would do so much better if they were spaced out just a little bit. All this shit back to back makes me crazy. That could be part of whats wrong with me. Because I feel it, that trapped boxed in feeling. I'm having problems breathing and keeping my train of thought. I seem to have cotton mouth no matter how much water I drink... I've even stepped away from my beloved Coca-cola. Sometimes I'm okay, but even when I'm okay there is an underlying river of tension running through and I'll tense up outta nowhere. Damn this shit sucks. I'm still excited about State though. As long as I maintain my excitement (as opposed to anxiety) in regards to that, I should be okay. That's the main one that counts until July when I'll be in DC. I need to get on my reservations for that. Again. The choked feeling.
My period still ain't here, thank God. Although if I'd gotten some any time in the past 3 months I'd be panicking right about now. I'm doing good though. And Honey Bear is still under the bed.
These mood swings are awful. I am so thankful that I'm alone most of the time, because people just magnify bullshit for me. At least I can sit in here with my music and calm down when I snap. I can't even really blame it on being lonely. I'm almost used to being lonely. I don't expect to get anyone any time soon, so I'm pretty stable (even if I don't like it) in regards to living alone. I just need a vacation... thats it. Thats just what I need. I don't even need dick (although I'd pack it just in case. Wouldn't wanna be left to temptation). I just need to rest my mind and soul. I'm gonna look into that. I'm goin somewhere, and I'mma do it soon before I completely nut up.
At least I don't want to cry anymore. I give myself until 12:00 pm for that shit to come right back though.
Last night was uneventful as shit. I'm dreading this weekend, and as a matter of fact, all the weekends in January. As it stands, I've got 3 Founders Day celebrations to attend and a couple of conferences. I would do so much better if they were spaced out just a little bit. All this shit back to back makes me crazy. That could be part of whats wrong with me. Because I feel it, that trapped boxed in feeling. I'm having problems breathing and keeping my train of thought. I seem to have cotton mouth no matter how much water I drink... I've even stepped away from my beloved Coca-cola. Sometimes I'm okay, but even when I'm okay there is an underlying river of tension running through and I'll tense up outta nowhere. Damn this shit sucks. I'm still excited about State though. As long as I maintain my excitement (as opposed to anxiety) in regards to that, I should be okay. That's the main one that counts until July when I'll be in DC. I need to get on my reservations for that. Again. The choked feeling.
My period still ain't here, thank God. Although if I'd gotten some any time in the past 3 months I'd be panicking right about now. I'm doing good though. And Honey Bear is still under the bed.
These mood swings are awful. I am so thankful that I'm alone most of the time, because people just magnify bullshit for me. At least I can sit in here with my music and calm down when I snap. I can't even really blame it on being lonely. I'm almost used to being lonely. I don't expect to get anyone any time soon, so I'm pretty stable (even if I don't like it) in regards to living alone. I just need a vacation... thats it. Thats just what I need. I don't even need dick (although I'd pack it just in case. Wouldn't wanna be left to temptation). I just need to rest my mind and soul. I'm gonna look into that. I'm goin somewhere, and I'mma do it soon before I completely nut up.
posted by ~~~. at 1/13/2005 10:29:00 AM
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