S, D, MF

I'm feeling like a whole bunch of cuss words right now.

So I was about to break down. It was New Years, I mean why not. He's too good of a kisser, thats what it is. Got in the house, and I was a mess. We barely made it to the room. Shit, no one was there, we coulda stayed in the front, but we didn't want to chance it. So he's in the chair, kissing me and removing my jacket and shirt. I'm in his lap with just my panties on, messing up his pants with what was in my panties. He's teasing my nipples with his tongue, making things even messier for me. He'll probably have to wash those pants like 5 times. I ruined them, but it was his fault. And he didn't care. I was so close to getting that dick. SO DAMN CLOSE.

And he ruined it.

Not the ex. The UC. He ruined my dick prospects again.

I don't like this. I couldn't go through with it. I blamed it on the fact that I was sick (which I really was). The ex understood. He put vicks vapo-rub on my chest and held me until I fell asleep, kissing my neck and shoulders.

I'm a serious fuck up. I mean, I say, "I'mma be celibate." I end up in bed with the ex. Just to not get any, because of another off-limits man. The ex ain't the right man. That's already been established. I know I wont be with him, blah blah. But the point is, I was about to get some. He had my juices all over the front of his pants. He wasn't objecting to anything I was doing. And I damn sure wasn't objecting to him. So what if he's an opportunistic bitch? He's got a dick worth it's weight in gold, and for my purposes right then, that was all that was required of him.

And I couldn't even go through with it.

This year ain't startin off so swell.

Lemme work. Booo.