Just another day
This has been a very restful weekend, and that's just what I needed. Yesterday I got my hair done, hung out with the fam, talked to UC and successfully ignored my ex. It was a good day. Today I slept damn near all day. I dont know what was going on with me, but I was knocked out. A good day indeed.
I'm scheming on my birthday plans. I'm gaining weight pretty well, so I should look somewhat gorgeous by my birthday. UC gave me a good idea for my birthday, I just might go along with it. I think I need to have an escort though... when UC kicks it, him and his folks kick it hard. I'm a lightweight, so I don't relish the idea of being the most sober outta like 11 people. I definitely want to go, but I don't want him to be the only person there that I know. Either I'mma take someone else, or I'm gonna just head out solo and plan to just see him in passing. I need to check on airline prices and hotel accomodations. Like right now. Because that last minute shit dont work well for the lil ol panic attack queen. I have a feeling I'm gonna have fun though, even if I roll solo because I'll look so damn good. I'm actually not afraid to go out there alone. Shit I might find someone to kick it with on the plane trip out there. That would be hella nice.
I've really made some strides in getting over being alone. Although it definitely sucks dick, I can deal with it. Something about realizing that I'd rather be alone than settle for bullshit... it's a for real liberation in that. I'm cool with being average. I'm cool with being quiet. I'm cool with being skinny. I'm cool with Me. It's pretty great.
It's very hard to ignore the ex. And it's been hard for me to stop crushing on Un-Crush. But I swear, when the dick is replaced it makes a huge difference. True, my bear cant hug me back, or slap my ass. But it doesn't talk shit and make me feel bad about things that have nothing to do with me either. It doesn't make me promises and fail to come through. It isn't far away, it's right here with me. I dont have to miss it, it isn't elusive, complex, confusing. It's very simple. I don't have to wonder if my bear is gonna forget about me if I don't talk to it for a few days. I don't have to be concerned about who my bear is kickin it with and if they look better than me. Perhaps I'm relying a little too much on it, but I can dig it for right now.
I already know what I'm gonna wear for my birthday. And I have to go to a beach... I simply must. All my ass I plan to gain must be shown off, but in a proper setting for such a display. I am gonna have such a good summer. Well lemme go look into airline tickets and hotels.
Feels good to breathe. I can dig it.
I'm scheming on my birthday plans. I'm gaining weight pretty well, so I should look somewhat gorgeous by my birthday. UC gave me a good idea for my birthday, I just might go along with it. I think I need to have an escort though... when UC kicks it, him and his folks kick it hard. I'm a lightweight, so I don't relish the idea of being the most sober outta like 11 people. I definitely want to go, but I don't want him to be the only person there that I know. Either I'mma take someone else, or I'm gonna just head out solo and plan to just see him in passing. I need to check on airline prices and hotel accomodations. Like right now. Because that last minute shit dont work well for the lil ol panic attack queen. I have a feeling I'm gonna have fun though, even if I roll solo because I'll look so damn good. I'm actually not afraid to go out there alone. Shit I might find someone to kick it with on the plane trip out there. That would be hella nice.
I've really made some strides in getting over being alone. Although it definitely sucks dick, I can deal with it. Something about realizing that I'd rather be alone than settle for bullshit... it's a for real liberation in that. I'm cool with being average. I'm cool with being quiet. I'm cool with being skinny. I'm cool with Me. It's pretty great.
It's very hard to ignore the ex. And it's been hard for me to stop crushing on Un-Crush. But I swear, when the dick is replaced it makes a huge difference. True, my bear cant hug me back, or slap my ass. But it doesn't talk shit and make me feel bad about things that have nothing to do with me either. It doesn't make me promises and fail to come through. It isn't far away, it's right here with me. I dont have to miss it, it isn't elusive, complex, confusing. It's very simple. I don't have to wonder if my bear is gonna forget about me if I don't talk to it for a few days. I don't have to be concerned about who my bear is kickin it with and if they look better than me. Perhaps I'm relying a little too much on it, but I can dig it for right now.
I already know what I'm gonna wear for my birthday. And I have to go to a beach... I simply must. All my ass I plan to gain must be shown off, but in a proper setting for such a display. I am gonna have such a good summer. Well lemme go look into airline tickets and hotels.
Feels good to breathe. I can dig it.
posted by ~~~. at 1/23/2005 07:32:00 PM
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