Home sweet home.

It's been an interesting day.

First I was lucky enough to be the recipient of the sexiest hug ever had in the workplace. Then I triumphed over the un-crush.

I feel pretty damn good.

Except my date for the Christmas party is trippin. He seems to think this is a real date, when it isn't. I already told him his basic functions are to escort me to this damn thing and to be the designated driver so I don't kill my car trying to come home. He thinks this is a second chance to rekindle some shit.

Now the reason I picked him was because I thought I could trust him to pull of the "friend" thing. Looks like I was dead wrong. I don't want to date him, be his woman, or any of that. He knew his role back at LMU, this ain't no different aside from the fact that I dont want to have sex with him anymore. He's still cute, but I'm just not trying to get some from him. Been there, done that (or him, I should say). He is straight nutting up on me, and the party is only 3 days away. This is not what I need right now.

Seems like I'm in constant angst behind some damn dude. Either they're stompin on my nerves, or I like them and they dont like me. There's always some shit going on though. I can't remember the last time I actually had some for real peace. The crush I take full responsibility for, especially the second coming. I knew better than that. But I let my happy happy-joy joy get in the way of my common sense.

I'm glad I've been able to put a little virtual distance between he and I. I really needed it to clear my mind some more. Of course he hadn't gone to lunch when I decided to play on AIM, but he was deep in two seperate IM conversations and actually trying to do real work (the shit he actually gets a paycheck for). So I didn't have too much of a conversation with him. The second time I logged on I didn't say anything to him because I ended up in a conversation with my soon-to-be date that just left me ultra pissed off. So I just signed off without saying anything. I doubt if he'd noticed I'd signed on anyways so it doesn't really matter. And now that I'm home, he isn't online. Gives me time to practice the mantra in case my new found strength decides to fly outta the window again. But it looks like things might just settle down. I'll see him in July, we'll be friends, I'll have a wonderful and celibate time, and I'll take my ass back to the west coast. I'm gonna be just fine.

I think I should run away and virtally hide again... only this time I'm gonna do it right, dammit.