The Crush Strikes Back
I'll be damned.
I dont believe my own lameitude. Now I thought I was almost done with this mess, but obviously I'm far from it. He's giving me problems that he couldn't imagine. Because he has no damn idea what's going on. There is only one other person that really knows because I told on myself last week. But him? No clue. So I get to sit here and be tormented on what has become a daily basis. As if it wasn't bad enough that I miss my actual, tangible ex-baby now I have to fight from contemplating a non-future with someone a quadjillion miles away. He says shit that could be misconstrued as a hint that he likes me. But he dont need to like me. I'm where I am, and he's where he is. That's final, and it cannot change. So whats all this? But this is whats happening to me, and I can't stop it. I've narrowed it down to a couple of things (but thats not helping me cope either).
Dude is too damn nice.
I can talk to him for hours, on damn AIM. Now I have carpal tunnel in both hands, there's no way in hell I should be typing all rapid speed for 2 and a half hours straight, cracking up and smiling like a damn idiot the whole time. BOOOO. But I can't help myself. I try not to send the first IM. But he usually sends it anyway. Thus my stupidity ensues.
He likes all the same music I do.
Music is the one thing that keeps me from going homicidal. When I get pissed, on goes the stereo. When I'm happy, on goes the stereo. When I'm sad, depressed, horny, lonely, greedy, joyous, whatever. Thats what I've always had. Now this dude is taking over my damn songs. So Amazing by Luther? He stole it. That's my wedding song, man! Number 8 offa my new Jon B that I just bought on Friday? He stole that one too. Somebody Loves You by the Delfonics? Yep, stole it too. And when I say he "stole" it, that means that from now on, when I hear the damn song in question, I'mma think of him. BOOOO. Not fair.
He's aware of Problems 1 and 2, and he uses them to his advantage.
Well thats kinda harsh, I don't think he's plotting on me or nothing. But that is a sure fire way to stick yourself in my weak mind. Steal all my songs and be too nice to me. Shit, he gave me a fuckin' nickname. *sigh* I don't stand a damn chance against this dude. He's a damn pro.
Dude is too damn far away for me to be tripping off his un-obtainable ass. This is so unfair. Why cant I just mourn the relationship I just killed off? I'm drifting between tears from my Baby and laughing at something this dude said. Its not right. The shit aint fair. I told on myself, thinking that getting it out there would make it go away, but I was dead wrong. Nope now I'm stuck as fuck trying to get him out of my mind. And he's not going anywhere fast.
I just cant win.
I dont believe my own lameitude. Now I thought I was almost done with this mess, but obviously I'm far from it. He's giving me problems that he couldn't imagine. Because he has no damn idea what's going on. There is only one other person that really knows because I told on myself last week. But him? No clue. So I get to sit here and be tormented on what has become a daily basis. As if it wasn't bad enough that I miss my actual, tangible ex-baby now I have to fight from contemplating a non-future with someone a quadjillion miles away. He says shit that could be misconstrued as a hint that he likes me. But he dont need to like me. I'm where I am, and he's where he is. That's final, and it cannot change. So whats all this? But this is whats happening to me, and I can't stop it. I've narrowed it down to a couple of things (but thats not helping me cope either).
Dude is too damn nice.
I can talk to him for hours, on damn AIM. Now I have carpal tunnel in both hands, there's no way in hell I should be typing all rapid speed for 2 and a half hours straight, cracking up and smiling like a damn idiot the whole time. BOOOO. But I can't help myself. I try not to send the first IM. But he usually sends it anyway. Thus my stupidity ensues.
He likes all the same music I do.
Music is the one thing that keeps me from going homicidal. When I get pissed, on goes the stereo. When I'm happy, on goes the stereo. When I'm sad, depressed, horny, lonely, greedy, joyous, whatever. Thats what I've always had. Now this dude is taking over my damn songs. So Amazing by Luther? He stole it. That's my wedding song, man! Number 8 offa my new Jon B that I just bought on Friday? He stole that one too. Somebody Loves You by the Delfonics? Yep, stole it too. And when I say he "stole" it, that means that from now on, when I hear the damn song in question, I'mma think of him. BOOOO. Not fair.
He's aware of Problems 1 and 2, and he uses them to his advantage.
Well thats kinda harsh, I don't think he's plotting on me or nothing. But that is a sure fire way to stick yourself in my weak mind. Steal all my songs and be too nice to me. Shit, he gave me a fuckin' nickname. *sigh* I don't stand a damn chance against this dude. He's a damn pro.
Dude is too damn far away for me to be tripping off his un-obtainable ass. This is so unfair. Why cant I just mourn the relationship I just killed off? I'm drifting between tears from my Baby and laughing at something this dude said. Its not right. The shit aint fair. I told on myself, thinking that getting it out there would make it go away, but I was dead wrong. Nope now I'm stuck as fuck trying to get him out of my mind. And he's not going anywhere fast.
I just cant win.
posted by ~~~. at 11/07/2004 08:07:00 PM
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