Still scrappin.

I didn't get that apology yesterday.

I didn't talk to him much at all, and it was really lonely for a minute. But when men know they're wrong, they don't like to deal with it. They'd rather sulk and then blame you for pulling away, or ignoring them.

As if I did something wrong.

When I fuck up, I apologize. I don't ignore him and expect him to still feel the love. No, I make sure I check on him and make him feel good so that he won't feel like I'm out there doing the damn thang.

If he can't see how reciprocity works, then I don't see the point of continuing on. He knows I love him. I don't leave room for doubt. If he can't figure out how to keep mo'fo's outta our business, and how to stand up to people, then I don't see the point in fuckin' with him anymore. I need a man, not a bitch. Or should I say, an opportunistic bitch. A man who bitches out when it suits him, but still thinks he's really holding it down.

Poor confused individuals.

I don't want to hold this shit down on my own. And I can get dick whenever I want, ain't like I'm ugly, or like I don't still have certain numbers, and it ain't like certain folks have forgotten me. I'm still receiving calls and emails.

But I don't want them, I want HIM. However, I'm sick of the battle. If he wants me, he needs to make that abundantly clear to EVERYONE who tests him, not certain people that he's proving a point to. If he can't, then why am I here?

Trophy bitch my ass.

Its all or nothing, and his ass is quickly headed for nothing. I may be recruiting again faster than I'd imagined. Damnit. That ain't what I wanted to do. Oh well.