Kiss me and I'll kiss you back

Man, it's a shame.

Folks creep outta the woodwork at the slightest hint of discontentment on my part. The minute I declare myself fed up with my man's bullshit, all these folks show up. I refuse to cheat on my man. But my memories of certain encounters are still in the back of my mind, no matter how I try to dismiss them. For example, there's one dude I won't call, and I wont see. It's sad, because he was a good friend to me, but its all fuckin if we see each other... he's already let me know that via email. So I'm not going near him. I'll admit though, he's that dick I'll never completely get over.

He has a baby now (well just about all of my old homeboys do now) so I want to go by and see his li'l one, since I haven't seen it yet. I know how this guy is about me, so I never agree to see him unaccompanied. We had this weird magnetism between us, and it was really obvious to anyone who was around us at any given time. I haven't committed to seeing him for a couple of reasons. One, I remember how serious the sex was between us. I'd say that he was one of the best I'd ever had, keeping it real. Two, I don't deal w/ new baby mommas. Especially the ones that don't realize that they've got my leftovers for dinner. And I don't leave much once I'm done.

See, all we'd do was have sex. I got most of my amazing freak skills from our marathon days. Just stayed naked. Showered so much I lost track. It really didn't do any good, because the minute we'd look at each other we'd be back in the bed (or on the couch, or on the wall, or on the floor). All day, every tuesday and thursday (I had no class, and he only had football practice), and sometimes on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays too. His sole purpose was to lay pipe in a real way. He had the best dick, versatile in the way he put it down. He could get rough and smooth it out in the same breath. I'd never had my ass smacked until he did it. He'd pull my hair and bite me, and make it feel so good. I drove so much gas outta my Hyundai Excel for that dick. School? Where was that again? I didn't see the campus on tuesday and thursday. That was "dick-down-M" day, and he knew it and accepted it. At one point I'd decided that I could commit to him the dick was so superb, but the idea scared him. So I left him alone that week for good, and he's regretted it ever since. He always tries to reconnect with me, but I have to keep him at arms length. His chance passed, no going back for me.

The last time I saw him he had a different girlfriend (and no baby). We kicked it a couple of times, it was fun. Ol' boy is so kick back, I really enjoyed his company. But it was hard for him to honor his relationship. He wanted things to be like it had been before, but I don't aid and abet in cheating on someone. If he'd been single, he coulda got it. But he wasn't single. I went with him to his little brother's track meet and nothing happened, so I agreed to see him again. I went to the house and came too close to getting him in trouble. And after that, I refused to see him. I remember when I came in he hugged me and we almost fucked right then. He always wore these easy access Nike pants when I came around, and he had a pair on that day. I felt everything he had and forgot he had a woman for a second. But somehow I regained my composure (if I remember correctly the phone rang or something) and just watched TV with him. I haven't seen him since then. I do miss him, but not enough to fuck things up with Baby. Two wrongs damn sure don't make a right.

Sometimes it would be so much easier if I could forget.