And I'm back...
I haven't had much time to write here, I only write about him anyway.
Nothings gonna change about that either, because I'm gonna write about him now.
Saturday I received these bomb ass CD's from an online homie I met through another online homie (I think I'm getting way too many internet friends, but thats another story). One CD had all these ol' school cuts on it, and both he and I love that music. I can't remember which song triggered it, but I came very close to messing up again.
I didn't though. I was proud of myself. But situations like this and the lunch visit yesterday bring it right back to my attention, this whole thing about it being impossible to leave him alone. I'm still in process with the sorority, so I haven't had much time for him. It's a perfectly feasible excuse to run away from him. But I won't be in process much longer, and I'll be faced with the prospect of seeing him at night again. I'll have all that time back on my hands, and all the memories of spending said time with him. I am looking forward to getting my nights back... I swear some folks don't realize that undergrad life is not the same as post-grad life. And on top of that, quit judging me because I'm "single" with no kids. As if I have nothing in the world to worry about. "Oh, you dont have anything to do, you don't have any kids or a husband." Heffa, try waking up at 5 something each day to come and work 10 to 12 hour shifts, answering to psychotic, overprotective relatives (who incidentally aren't speaking to me because of this sorority thing and the impact it has on my illness), and then dealing with your grudge holding ass. Ain't my fault you crossed when I was eight years old and things have changed substantially now. BLAH.
Anyway, I got all off the subject.
So I'm gonna have all this free time, and he's still going to be here. Which means that eventually I'mma end up right back over there. I can't resist him for nothing. I try, too. Really I do. But I've come to the conclusion that it's impossible, so I think I'mma give up.
Nothings gonna change about that either, because I'm gonna write about him now.
Saturday I received these bomb ass CD's from an online homie I met through another online homie (I think I'm getting way too many internet friends, but thats another story). One CD had all these ol' school cuts on it, and both he and I love that music. I can't remember which song triggered it, but I came very close to messing up again.
I didn't though. I was proud of myself. But situations like this and the lunch visit yesterday bring it right back to my attention, this whole thing about it being impossible to leave him alone. I'm still in process with the sorority, so I haven't had much time for him. It's a perfectly feasible excuse to run away from him. But I won't be in process much longer, and I'll be faced with the prospect of seeing him at night again. I'll have all that time back on my hands, and all the memories of spending said time with him. I am looking forward to getting my nights back... I swear some folks don't realize that undergrad life is not the same as post-grad life. And on top of that, quit judging me because I'm "single" with no kids. As if I have nothing in the world to worry about. "Oh, you dont have anything to do, you don't have any kids or a husband." Heffa, try waking up at 5 something each day to come and work 10 to 12 hour shifts, answering to psychotic, overprotective relatives (who incidentally aren't speaking to me because of this sorority thing and the impact it has on my illness), and then dealing with your grudge holding ass. Ain't my fault you crossed when I was eight years old and things have changed substantially now. BLAH.
Anyway, I got all off the subject.
So I'm gonna have all this free time, and he's still going to be here. Which means that eventually I'mma end up right back over there. I can't resist him for nothing. I try, too. Really I do. But I've come to the conclusion that it's impossible, so I think I'mma give up.
posted by ~~~. at 10/28/2004 10:52:00 AM
<< Home